Feral Magnetism

 by the Village Simpleton 

 tv1 AKA Village Simpleton has observed a recurring magazine advertisement pitch for many years from a lady, Winnifred Cutler – Phd. Biology, to PAY & ACQUIRE her Athena Institute $99.95 small vial of pheromones to enhance/attract/procure etc. etc. the attractiveness from the opposite species (in tv1’s case that would mean a Y Chromosome attracting an X Species for fun, hilarity, maybe sexual such, and therefore).   tv1 for many, many years has read her magazine pitch advertisements via HIGH BROW periodicals, because tv1 suggests (in his denial) that he is HIGH BROW – albeit he is (of course) a true Simpleton.

 Well, finally and of course, tv1 recently paid $99.95 + tax to determine if tv1 might possibly get his wife to animalistic jump tv1’s bones or anything related consequently and of course.   tv1 has been diligent in his application of swipes of Ms. Cutler’s recipe fluid to his cheeks and upper lip.  Also, tv1 knows his wife, AKA The One Who Must Be Obeyed, to have a profound “smeller” when she lasers in on tv1’s personage e.g. when tv1 drinks and/or drinks too much.

 THE RESULT (as a matter of record tv1 does not denigrate Winnifred’s track record), BUT the Big Boss (tv1’s wife) not once (that w/b NOT ONCE) sniffed, snorted, smelt, tv1’s SKIN LOVE POTION secret attack and did not consider any advance to tv1 (or at least any definition that might be sexual based or oriented).   Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm – OK, OK, tv1 is a simpleton.  HOWEVER AND SUCH, tv1 continues to existentially seek a solution to his conundrum. 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *