Heady Headlines Part 1

This compilation of hilarious headlines was gathered together by the Village Simpleton.  (See more below). The idiot savant, or “Simpleton,” as he prefers to be tagged, belongs to a whimsical band of confederates loosely affiliated with Feral Trek, but who, independently and without authority but their own personal genius, prey upon the complacency of their fellow citizens. Satire and slapstick are their weapons of choice. 

The Idiot, though, is an unusual specimen. The possible love child of Clarabell the Clown and Mae West, his brilliance is tempered only by the onset of senility. In another age, he would play the wise court jester to the foolish king. His monologues are legendary for their mixture of incoherence, scatological reference, and naïve realism. I’ll never forget the old vaudeville joke he told me when we first met. It somehow sums up his whole sensibility.

“Would you hit a woman with a baby?”

“No, I’d hit her with a brick.

-Jack Beanstalker

 
 

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